The One

Long ago when I decided to start a blog I told myself that I would only put important things on there.  While I did get some important stuff posted, I got away from myself and just started to post fun little things that were of little importance.  Soon, I found the important posts getting smaller and smaller and then off to nothingness.  It is not that important things have not been happening, it is just that well, got out of the habit.  A lot of things have happened since I got back from Bolivia which was the prominent subject of my last post.  I have graduated with my PhD, got a great job out on the east coast, and above all, which will be the primary subject of this posting, I have found the woman that I have always been looking for.  Her name is Huan Zhu and she is from southern China (near Hong Kong).  We have now been together for over one year.  While we have had our ups and our downs like any couple would, I am both proud of her for who she is and I cherish the time that we have spent and will spend together in the future.  Let me introduce her to you.  World, meet Huan…

Huan in Shanghai

Huan is very pretty, funny, smart, loving, and a host of other great things that every man looks for in a woman.  I am proud to have her by my side.  One of the great things about us is our story.  I cant give the whole story but I will try to sketch it out.  I meet Huan by chance at a friends party just after the Christmas of 2008.  There we spoke, mainly of my outdoor activities, and made plans to re-connect when I got back from a trip I was going on so that I could teach her how to drive.  I left the next day for a month trip to Chicago.  When I got back we eagerly proceeded to start the driving lessons.  Now, not so much that I am a great instructor, but she was a great student and we were able to get her license in short order.  As time went by I grew an attraction to her based on who she was and how we interacted.  I was so relaxed around her and I felt like I could talk to her about anything, even the most personal thoughts.  While I am a very open person in general, I had never felt that close to somebody.  There were several different reasons why I did not act on my feelings.  Some were I was not sure what I was feeling, another was her situation, and even another was my situation.  Independent of our individual situations, the feelings that I had for her were growing stronger everyday.  I was eventually bold enough to invite her to my parents house for Thanksgiving in 2009.  That would be a trip to remember.  I thought to myself, “This is going to be the moment!”  I was going to move our relationship to the next level.  I had felt an attraction from her for a while and I knew that I was attracted to her.  Unfortunately, the whole time we were at my parents house it never happened.  Funny thing is, now I know that we both wanted it to happen, just neither of use was bold enough at the time.  On the way back to Lawrence (a 3 hour drive) I told Huan that I liked her and wanted to be with her.  I told her I was tired of trying to pretend that I did not like her.  She apparently felt the same way.  After the drive to her apartment, late that night, we looked into each others eyes and we kissed for the first time.  I will be a moment that I never forget.  It was that moment that a couple looks for and sometimes never finds, the moment when you can have a conversation and express your feelings with out ever saying a word.  Everyday since that day, when proximity allows, we have spent time together.  Her touch, her smile, and her breath landing on my shoulder will forever bring me happiness.  It is for this reason that I look forward to spending a lifetime with her if she will allow me.

A lot has happened in the year after that.  Way too much to put in a blog and much of it way too personal to share.  They are our memories to share with each other.  Moments to take the sometimes painful days away.  The purpose of this post was to tell the world about Huan and the love that I have for her.  I love her more than any woman I have ever loved.  Currently She is away from me visiting her parents and I miss her greatly.  I wish she would come home…

I shall leave you with a photo us is Washington DC…

Huan and Me in Washington DC

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About Justace Clutter

I am currently a Physics graduate student at the University of Kansas. My enphasis is High Energy Experiment and as such am currently working at the D0 experiment at Fermilab near Chicago. My undergraduate was accomplished at Southwest Missouri State University (now MSU) in Springfield, Mo. I also compleated 5 years of active duty in the Air Force just after high school.
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One Response to The One

  1. truthful nacho says:

    The “too much to put on a blog” thing was gross dude.

    I totally wish men had never invented marriage. X(

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