Its been a while

Dear LazyWeb,

A lot of things have happened since my last posting, which regrettably was too far back.  I have now gone back to Fermilab for about a month to work here at the D0 experiment.  I have started to dabble in the world of online dating.  I have decided to play with www.plentyoffish.com, my profile is here, mainly due to the fact that it is free and I think the other sites out there are just money hungry.  I must say that I am in general disappointed with the online women.  They say that they are looking for this great guy, which I think that I am, and yet I get no response, or even worse, read and then deleted.  Some women state they are looking to just hang out or looking for friends, but when I message them they seem not to respond.  It really makes you start to wander if you were not all that great.  Now, I am not giving up, I think that I am just venting.  It seems ironic that the reason I am posting here to the blog is because somebody very important to me told me that she misses reading my blog and for me to continue but this is the only topic on my mind right now.  Seems like the last thing that I would write about.  (as a side note the new interface for wordpress is quite nice, a definite upgrade)

Apart from my dating woe’s I have a new interest, reading philosophy…  Now if only I could find one to read.  I did some looking and I think that I am going to start with David Hume, unless a luck commenter has a better author for me.  I am not sure where this interest came from but we will see where it goes.  I have been doing some caving (not as much as I should) and I have also been playing with my new snowboard.  Since I am here near Chicago I plan to go up to Wisconsin to do some boarding in preparation for the spring break trip to CO this year.  Hopefully I will be able to find some friends here to go with me.  Ok, enough for now.  Mabey that I have posted here now I will get back to it again later this week. (lets keep our fingers crossed)

Justace

Dear World….

Today I have been though a gauntlent of dissapointment.  I have received a email from my advisor last week telling me that she wants me to be on my own more and to start looking for a job.  Now, this is a good thing since that means that she is starting to think that I am getting ready for the “real world”.  I have been trying to get stuff to her for the past week and a half and nothing is working correctly.  When I submit jobs to the batch queue’s to get results they just crash.  And on top of that I can not seem to get the corretions into my Monte Carlo all the way due to these batch issues.  Ok, so besides some other dissapointing news I thought that I had this batch issue solved where I come in this morning and find out that I had submitted with the wrong config file last night.  Worthless computing time wasted.  Now I have to resubmit but the computers at the experiment are being upgraded so the batch queue’s are offline.  Now to supliment this…  I have been needing to get some code together to make a plot for my work.  I have been putting it off since it was a hastle.  The other day I finally got around to getting this code written and it was awsome.  It did everything I needed it to, had cross-checks in the code, and the plot was great looking.  Today in an effort to back it up I accedentally removed it!  Now I must start over from scratch.  Now I know that it was only about 400 lines of code but…  Now on top of all this I need to be editing a paper.  I have been trying to get to it but things keep getting in my way.  For one I can not update the efficencies untill I have the corrections in the Monte Carlo (which I am waiting on batch jobs to be available again since they are required to get this to work.)

I dunno World…  Guess I just needed somebody to rant to.  Now to settle down and recover from my morning…  Possibly a trip downtown would help me to recover…

Connected

It is easy to move though the day and the night without interaction.  No illusion of being connected to the world around us.  In a lifetime, a brief moment of solitude and loneliness dominate.  It is then that something reaches out to you and pulls you back, and it is then you realize that you were never really gone, just drifting silently past whisping threads of interaction.  Something pulls you full circle and makes you realize that everything is connected.  Your actions, my actions, and the people outside of you and me all affect each other.  I author a post on my blog which somebody uses to fix a problem or link to the next person.  A comment here, a comment there…  And then for me, an artist which I find on the internet.  The music which is surprisingly full of feeling, something lyrics could not convey.  This artist who could seem untouchable and separated by both physical and social boundaries I find is based right here in the wonderful town of Lawrence, KS.  His music, connected to me through the finely woven threads of the internet help me to see how we are all connected.  This artist has unknowingly reached out to me and pulled me back.  When you walk down the street you see the person that walks past you.  Which one of you are drifting silently.  Each of us has the ability to reach out and pull somebody back.  How will you do it?  I leave you with the wonderful sounds of this artist, Ehren Starks.